My Updated Version of the (many) Types of Facebookers

About a year and a half ago, there was a hilarious article on CNN.com  about the "12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers." Go read it first, and then keep a mental note of the most often offenders and try to block them from your Home Page, so that you don't end up cutting them out of your real friend circle. It's a fine line sometimes.

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/20/annoying.facebook.updaters/index.html

As I am now approaching my 7th year as a Facebooker, I feel that I can adequately update this article with the new types of Facebookers. That's right, I definitely don't remember life without the FB, and I was there for all the changes. All the changes. This list won't be just the annoying Facebookers (although if you recognize yourself as one of these types, you should probably tone it down a bit), but instead the list will just be my observations at the new, updated version of Facebookers. 

As a small bit of history (and to prove my worthiness to write about FB types), back in 2004, we had to puddle along in our daily existence with no photo uploads. None. You only got one shot at it, the Profile Pic.  (So, you didn't have a chance to win over a potential mate with your other 1,127 pictures) The first photos could be uploaded in or around October of 2005 ---- and happened to be mere hours after my Law School 1L year Halloween Party (greaaaat timing). I woke up on November 1st, totally confused by this new progression, and a little frightened because, if I remember correctly, only the person who tagged you could untag you. There was no self-detagging. Oh, the horrors! 

Ok, so instead of trying to get all the new types of Facebookers in one post, I'll just go one by one. I think there are several reasons for the new Facebookers who have emerged. First, Twitter has greatly affected the way Facebook works because many people update the world with their every move on Twitter and that has leaked into the FB world. Second, it's not just a college-kid playground anymore, so here we go with the mom-bookers, the dad-bookers and the grandma-bookers. Lord, help us all.

Type 1:

The Advice Seekers (Or, as I like to call them, the I'm Too Lazy To Google This, So Please Tell Me Facebookers)

Most rampant offenders: New moms (Sorry, ladies, you're my first group)

Love it or hate it, the new mom advice seekers are a new category of people who have recently emerged onto the scene of Facebook. "I just can't get my baby's huge, 10-day-long, red, infested diaper rash to go away... who can tell me what the best, all-natural, dermatologist-tested butt paste is?" (OK, I made this one up, so as not to offend anyone, but you get my drift) These posts have GOT to be the absolute, most responded-to posts in all of Facebook history. Nothing like a little mom-radere to really get the blood flowing with these types. Every one of these that I have seen has at least 30-50 responses to it. Woah! Advice seekers unite! Now, I'll give everyone a couple of passes on this one. I mean, butt paste is an important part of parenting, and we all fall into this category at one time or another, but if you are checking Facebook instead of your baby books, maybe you are officially a rampant advice seeker. Oh, well. So be it. Just acknowledge that it's a type and that's that. 

There are a few honorable mentions in this category as well - mainly people who travel but refuse to buy travel books, and (of course) FB newbies, who are so new to FB that they clearly barely know how to use Google either.  

My advice is that we are all a type with one post or the next, so at least it's the cyber world where ignoring someone goes without their knowing :)